Before kidlet went off to boarding school, I had a really tough time getting her up in the morning. (Now it’s someone else’s headache…) If I was home, it wasn’t as much of a problem…but I usually was gone for work when she had to get up and get ready to go to school. And waking kids by phone doesn’t work well, if at all. I actually had the same trouble when I was a teenager, it used to take my dad about half an hour to get me out of bed. When I moved away to university, I couldn’t take any classes before 10am, because it was so hard to get up. So kidlet has inherited my ability to sleep deeply through just about anything.
I tried buying her several different alarm clocks. Most gave out a faint “beep-beep” that didn’t wake either one of us. My mom sent a rooster that crowed loudly until you hit its head, then it gave a perky “Good morning!” . That worked until its crower broke.
Then I tried a wake-up call alarm clock. With the hope that kidlet would respond to a phone call, this phone rings until you pick up the receiver and hear ” Good morning, this is your wake up call… ”
Unfortunately, kidlet refused to have anything to do with it, didn’t want it in her room, and I had to give it away.
Which led me on a wild search for a proper alarm clock that would work, for her or for me. And what I found was a whole range of incredibly annoying alarm clocks. Besides the various standard rings, all kinds of animal noises, police sirens, fire alarms, sonic booms, radios and MP3s, there are alarm clocks that go a few steps further to get you up and out of bed.
Some are pretty simple.
This is switched off by punching on the top of the alarm clock. While very satisfying, I doubt this would get me up.
This one requires some effort to turn off. As this alarm goes off, you must throw it away like a true grenade in order for it to stop its noise. Also satisfying, but again, I’m not sure it would get me up.
This one, called sfera, hangs from the ceiling above your bed. When the alarm goes off, you reach up and touch it to activate the snooze – causing it retract towards the ceiling. When snooze goes off again, you have to reach higher to activate the snooze again. Each time you activate the snooze function the alarm retracts a little higher to the point that you get your butt out of bed. The problem is that even if I have to stand up to get to it, I’m still in bed…and can fall right back down.
This alarm continues to ring until you step on it with your own two feet. OK, now we’re getting out of bed. Unless you train your dog to step on the carpet, or call for one of your kids…
Some alarms require you to perform some task to turn them off.
This alarm requires you to perform a predetermined amount of reps with these dumbbell weights in order to turn the ringing off. Good way to get your exercises in.
When the alarm rings, you have to aim carefully and shoot the target exactly right to turn it off. (This can be set so that you have to shoot the target an additional four times in order to make it stop.) OK, now this would wake me up, but if my aim is off I would probably get royally pissed off. It does add the satisfaction of shooting the blasted thing.
This one requires you to solve math calculations in order to turn off the ring. You can also set it for up to five problems that are shown one after the other. Hey, I love math. But no way am I going to wake up and focus on math problems to shut off the noise.
You know that moment in a movie when the hero has mere seconds to dismantle a bomb before it explodes? You can experience that excitement every morning with this clock. It starts beeping like a real bomb a minute before it goes off, and you need to defuse it carefully by unplugging the corresponding color wire as indicated by a glowing LED located in front. Disconnecting the wrong wire will cause it to explode with a loud noise over and over with no way of shutting it up. Um. OK. Start my morning with stress and drama??? I think not.
This clock greets you every morning by crowing and laying eggs. It starts its crowing and five tiny eggs are released into a basket. In order to get the noise to stop, you have to deposit the eggs back into the clock. Right. Unless the cat gets to those intriguing little round eggs before I do. And considering how many things I drop in the morning before I’m awake, this can’t be good.
Some alarm clocks incorporate a search into the fun.
This alarm’s top will fly away at the set time and the clock will not stop the ringing until the top is back in place. I wonder what happens if the window is open.
Same principle – it shoots a rocket off in your room (hopefully), and the only way to turn it off is to locate the rocket and place it back on the launch pad.
This combines search and task: it wakes you up by firing three puzzle pieces up in the air, then it is your mission to get the pieces and put them back in the alarm clock or it won’t turn off. I’m really not sure just how long this would last in my life before accidentally encountering a hammer.
This little cutey will jump 3 feet off the nightstand, roll away beeping and require you to get up and chase it in order to turn off. Not only that, it is programmed to go in a different direction every day. Wow, gets you out of bed and gives you exercise. In a wide range of colours…..
This is for all the parents. It goes into a tantrum unless you wake up and get out of bed. Within a minute of the set wake up time, it will start to glow. At the scheduled time it will begin to ring and taps its arms. But if you think twice before actually pressing snooze, it will go in to a tantrum of rings along with pounding its fists and probably give you a whopping headache before you manage to get up. That would be a no for me, thanks.
I do believe I’ll stick with the perfectly good alarm on my cell phone and the hell with it.