What we have here is a problem of communication

User-friendly my patootie.

I’ve been fighting with my printer all day.

I want to print out some envelopes, for business mailing.  I prefer to print them, it looks more professional, and that’s important for a small business.  I go through Word → mailings → envelopes…  I select the size of the envelope.  and how it loads into the printer according to the printer instructions.  I type in the address and the return address.  And I hit “print”.

Ding-dong, the printer tells me the size of the envelope isn’t what I selected.  And spits the envelope back out.  Blank.    I also get a pop-up in Word telling me the same thing, but there it has a button to click if I want to print it anyway on the current envelope.  Obediently I put the envelope back in the tray and I click.  Nope, the printer isn’t buying that trick, out comes the blank envelope once again.   With the accompanying ding-dong.

I re-check all the settings.  Go over all possible options.  Print.  Ding-dong.  And again.

I ponder that perhaps the measurements written on the packet of envelopes is off, so I grab a ruler and measure the durn thing.  Nope, the manufacturer got it right.  Even so, I punch in some other measurement options to try.

Nope.  Nope.  Nope.  Ding-dong.

I go out and buy a different size of envelope.  Start over.  Same story.

I type and arrange the addresses in a regular Word document (which prints out just fine on paper), and try to print that on the envelope.  This jams the envelope inside the printer.   I try this three times.  And three times I have to open up the machine to retrieve the jammed envelope.  (And throw it away, because now it can’t be used.)

I’m not happy.

It’s not like I’m a novice at this nonsense.  I have been using Word to print out envelopes for years.  But this printer is determined not to cooperate.   It does fine with other stuff.  Yet despite advertising to the contrary, it just doesn’t want to print envelopes.  And is not persuaded by my polite requests, heart-rending pleas, nor my expletive-laden tantrums.

Piffle.

I have wasted a day on this.  I will now address the frigging envelopes by hand. go eat some comfort food and then knit to calm down.

You’ve let me down, printer.  I don’t think I’ll ever be able to see you in the same way again.